January 11, 2022

“I wonder about deep questions.”

I was reading a book about meditation yesterday that used the term “inward” that made me start thinking about what it really is to be inward. “Nirvana is reached by turning inward” it said. Then it went on to say that Samsara is come to when we turn outside our selves.

So it is a known idea in Buddhist thought that turning inward aids to meditative processes, and meditative processes lead to better mental clarity, calmness, and improved self control. But what does it mean to turn inward?

So I made a little list of actions that turn me inward. Being silent. Not scrolling through my phone. Counting my breaths. Recognizing my thoughts and feelings.

Then I started wondering, there are times when I turn more inward, and other times when my focus is more outward. Would it be ideal for my mental health for me to always focus inwardly? Or is there a balance in what should be strived for between the interior and the exterior aims?

I am not sure about it. A part of me wants to never scroll through the phone again, and even to quit watching videos, because I notice that when I do engage in those behaviors, it takes me away from what I need to be coping with.