January 15, 2022

Major self improvement progress. My post from yesterday has been growing inside of me. I was remembering times in the past when I lashed out at people I thought I had trusted because they said something that hurt me or made me feel belittled. Even a friend just being disappointed in me has been enough for me to lash out. But when I started thinking of my own self sacrifice as necessary, it really helped me figure out how to stop this long lived tendency.

“I think I am going to be able to change myself to be more patient with the ones I love.”

Yesterday, Mom was talking way too much, and for a moment I almost told her I had better things to do than listen to her talk. But she is turning 79 tomorrow, of all ages, so I thought to myself, my time with Mom is limited and precious, and I listened to everything she had to say. It took great patience, but I pulled on my own inner strengths which are great. Love is a power that if called on can help us do great things.

I am learning to remember I love people instead of wanting to come up with a mean comeback to what feels like an insult. Patience is a wonderful virtue.